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Empathy: Why It Matters, and How to Get It
Discover the Six Habits of Highly Empathic People
A popular speaker and co-founder of The School of Life, Roman Krznaric has traveled the world researching and lecturing on the subject of empathy. In this lively and engaging book, he argues that our brains are wired for social connection. Empathy, not apathy or self-centeredness, is at the heart of who we are. By looking outward and attempting to identify with the experiences of others, Krznaric argues, we can become not only a more equal society, but also a happier and more creative one.
Through encounters with groundbreaking actors, activists, designers, nurses, bankers and neuroscientists, Krznaric defines a new breed of adventurer. He presents the six life-enhancing habits of highly empathic people, whose skills enable them to connect with others in extraordinary ways – making themselves, and the world, more truly fulfilled.
A popular speaker and co-founder of The School of Life, Roman Krznaric has traveled the world researching and lecturing on the subject of empathy. In this lively and engaging book, he argues that our brains are wired for social connection. Empathy, not apathy or self-centeredness, is at the heart of who we are. By looking outward and attempting to identify with the experiences of others, Krznaric argues, we can become not only a more equal society, but also a happier and more creative one.
Through encounters with groundbreaking actors, activists, designers, nurses, bankers and neuroscientists, Krznaric defines a new breed of adventurer. He presents the six life-enhancing habits of highly empathic people, whose skills enable them to connect with others in extraordinary ways – making themselves, and the world, more truly fulfilled.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published June 1, 2010
252 people are currently reading
3,001 people want to read
About the author
Roman Krznaric
27 books293 followersRoman Krznaric is a social philosopher who writes about the power of ideas to create change. His latest book is the international bestseller The Good Ancestor: How to Think Long Term in a Short-Term World. His previous books, including Empathy, The Wonderbox, How to Find Fulfilling Work and Carpe Diem Regained, have been published in more than 25 languages. He is Senior Research Fellow at Oxford University’s Centre for Eudaimonia and Human Flourishing and founder of the world’s first Empathy Museum. His new book, History for Tomorrow: Inspiration from the Past for the Future of Humanity, is published in July 2024.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 97 reviews
October 7, 2014
(3.5) Of Krznaric’s pop-philosophy writing, I would highly recommend The Wonderbox. This survey of empathy, including many historical case studies, doesn’t cover much material that I haven’t read elsewhere, but he does well to synthesize it all into one short, readable text.
In our age of narcissism and “empathy deficit” (Obama, 2008), Krznaric insists that we need to prioritize outrospection: making time to understand others. Empathy is something more than just compassion; it’s less of a passive feeling and more of an active outlook. The myth that humans are inherently selfish is one perpetuated through history by four major figures: Hobbes, Adam Smith, Darwin (via Dawkins), and Freud. Au contraire, Krznaric argues; 98% of us (barring psychopaths and the autistic) are naturally empathetic – and humanity is not unique in this inclination, as Frans de Waal’s work with apes has supported.
Krznaric offers six relatively simple tips for fostering empathy:
• Embrace your empathic brain. Mirror neurons are there to help, but the four stumbling blocks of prejudice, authority, distance and denial are always present, too. Humanizing the Other, as Oskar Schindler did and as Martin Buber encourages with his “I-Thou” formulation (as opposed to “I-It”), is essential.
• Character games. Imagine other people’s backstories. (It’s the only way he survived a detested telesales job.)
• Experiential learning. This, for me, was the most interesting chapter. “Undercover empathy” – Orwell palling around with bums in Down and Out in Paris and London, Che Guevara visiting a leper colony, or Patricia Moore impersonating an 85-year-old woman to see what being elderly was like in the 1980s – can be revelatory. Moore went on to propose theories of universal design and contribute to the Americans with Disabilities Act. (Think also of Daniel Day-Lewis’s method acting.) Cooperation can bring natural enemies together.
• The art of conversation. Showing curiosity about other people may get you labeled an eccentric, but it’s a skill that people like Studs Terkel have exploited to great effect. Krznaric loves the idea of a “Human Library” from which you can borrow conversational partners for getting-to-know-you meals. (See Oxford Muse and its Conversational Meals.)
• Armchair travels. Through theater, cinema and novels, we can see things from another’s perspective, even an enemy’s – as with the film of All Quiet on the Western Front in the aftermath of World War I. “In recent years there has been a revival of this Victorian faith in literature as a vehicle for empathic transformation,” Krznaric writes; “a fine novelist is an empathic magus who can enable us, if only temporarily, to shed our own skin and step into another way of looking at the world.” I believe that wholeheartedly, and affirm his desire to see books being used therapeutically: “One day I hope all public libraries will offer a professional bibliotherapy service.” (Pick me!)
• Inspire a revolution. All it takes is a critical mass. The anti-slavery and civil rights movements are proof. Climate change is our next challenge.
Like Alain de Botton (e.g. The News and especially Religion for Atheists), with whom he works in London’s School of Life, Krznaric can occasionally seem quaintly naïve. (An Empathy Museum, really?!) But his enthusiasm for his subject is infectious, and anything we can do to increase the empathy in our world is well worth it.
In our age of narcissism and “empathy deficit” (Obama, 2008), Krznaric insists that we need to prioritize outrospection: making time to understand others. Empathy is something more than just compassion; it’s less of a passive feeling and more of an active outlook. The myth that humans are inherently selfish is one perpetuated through history by four major figures: Hobbes, Adam Smith, Darwin (via Dawkins), and Freud. Au contraire, Krznaric argues; 98% of us (barring psychopaths and the autistic) are naturally empathetic – and humanity is not unique in this inclination, as Frans de Waal’s work with apes has supported.
Krznaric offers six relatively simple tips for fostering empathy:
• Embrace your empathic brain. Mirror neurons are there to help, but the four stumbling blocks of prejudice, authority, distance and denial are always present, too. Humanizing the Other, as Oskar Schindler did and as Martin Buber encourages with his “I-Thou” formulation (as opposed to “I-It”), is essential.
• Character games. Imagine other people’s backstories. (It’s the only way he survived a detested telesales job.)
• Experiential learning. This, for me, was the most interesting chapter. “Undercover empathy” – Orwell palling around with bums in Down and Out in Paris and London, Che Guevara visiting a leper colony, or Patricia Moore impersonating an 85-year-old woman to see what being elderly was like in the 1980s – can be revelatory. Moore went on to propose theories of universal design and contribute to the Americans with Disabilities Act. (Think also of Daniel Day-Lewis’s method acting.) Cooperation can bring natural enemies together.
• The art of conversation. Showing curiosity about other people may get you labeled an eccentric, but it’s a skill that people like Studs Terkel have exploited to great effect. Krznaric loves the idea of a “Human Library” from which you can borrow conversational partners for getting-to-know-you meals. (See Oxford Muse and its Conversational Meals.)
• Armchair travels. Through theater, cinema and novels, we can see things from another’s perspective, even an enemy’s – as with the film of All Quiet on the Western Front in the aftermath of World War I. “In recent years there has been a revival of this Victorian faith in literature as a vehicle for empathic transformation,” Krznaric writes; “a fine novelist is an empathic magus who can enable us, if only temporarily, to shed our own skin and step into another way of looking at the world.” I believe that wholeheartedly, and affirm his desire to see books being used therapeutically: “One day I hope all public libraries will offer a professional bibliotherapy service.” (Pick me!)
• Inspire a revolution. All it takes is a critical mass. The anti-slavery and civil rights movements are proof. Climate change is our next challenge.
Like Alain de Botton (e.g. The News and especially Religion for Atheists), with whom he works in London’s School of Life, Krznaric can occasionally seem quaintly naïve. (An Empathy Museum, really?!) But his enthusiasm for his subject is infectious, and anything we can do to increase the empathy in our world is well worth it.
Shelved as 'to-be-considered'
August 9, 2019Why it matters (1)
Why it matters (2)
How not to get it.
______
Grinning Trump gives thumbs-up with baby whose parents were shot dead in El Paso terror attack
Why it matters (2)
How not to get it.
______
Grinning Trump gives thumbs-up with baby whose parents were shot dead in El Paso terror attack
October 28, 2014
This book makes excellent points about the importance of interacting with people different from ourselves and eschewing self-centered psychoanalysis in favor or a more outward-looking approach to improving ourselves. Anyone who is already halfway empathetic will find Krznaric's book quite obvious, but those are not the people who should be reading it in the first place.
I do take issue with the author's somewhat malleable definition of empathy throughout the book. He stretches it far enough that we should expect to become more empathetic by looking at photographs, watching certain movies, and volunteering for brief periods of time in other parts of the world. I'm highly suspicious that such superficial activities can breed true empathy--the kind that he attributes to George Orwell, Oskar Schindler, Harriet Beecher Stowe and others.
Perhaps my biggest quibble comes in regard to his take on climate change--that the failure to transition away from our carbon-intensive economy stems from a lack of empathy felt toward future generations. This is a reductionist, ahistorical standpoint that would have us ignore all the political, economic and structural realities that stand in the way of addressing climate change. Is it any surprise that people are more concerned with living and working and eating today than they are with the well-being of descendants a century hence? Empathy may be a powerful force in person-to-person interactions, and sometimes it can even shift countries and societies. But it's only one element of how we behave toward each other, and singling it out seems somewhat naive.
I do take issue with the author's somewhat malleable definition of empathy throughout the book. He stretches it far enough that we should expect to become more empathetic by looking at photographs, watching certain movies, and volunteering for brief periods of time in other parts of the world. I'm highly suspicious that such superficial activities can breed true empathy--the kind that he attributes to George Orwell, Oskar Schindler, Harriet Beecher Stowe and others.
Perhaps my biggest quibble comes in regard to his take on climate change--that the failure to transition away from our carbon-intensive economy stems from a lack of empathy felt toward future generations. This is a reductionist, ahistorical standpoint that would have us ignore all the political, economic and structural realities that stand in the way of addressing climate change. Is it any surprise that people are more concerned with living and working and eating today than they are with the well-being of descendants a century hence? Empathy may be a powerful force in person-to-person interactions, and sometimes it can even shift countries and societies. But it's only one element of how we behave toward each other, and singling it out seems somewhat naive.
December 26, 2014
Empathy is something that we can acquire and expand upon with conscious mind sets and experiential learning. Empathy can actually reduce depression and anxiety, as it allows one person to connect with others, and vice versa, to create a helping, loving community. Religion not necessary in this mix. I am enjoying this book and want to read Krznaric's other works now--he is spot on with his strategies for how to treat some major human problems that cause systemic inequalities and illnesses.
December 8, 2016
This book is about Empathy, why it matters, and how to get it. After a prologue about the "Radical Power of Empathy," Krznaric (I should get the audio book to learn how to pronounce his name) lays out six habits we can cultivate to develop empathy. Like any social skill -- conversation, teamwork, winning at Smash Bros. -- some of us may have more innate talent at it than others, but very few people are completely incapable of having empathy, if only they would try.
Published in 2014, the book is even more relevant today in an America with a leader devoid of empathy. In 1651, philosopher Thomas Hobbes argued that "inherently self-seeking and violent creatures such as ourselves needed an authoritarian government to keep us in check." That was over 350 years ago, and while we may no longer all be self-seeking and violent, enough of us are to elect the same. It's important to fight those impulses, because human society would not be what it is without co-operation. We all walk a road paved by someone else every single day of our lives. As Krznaric lays out in his prologue, "'Looking after number one' is becoming an outdate aspiration as we begin to realize that empathy is at the core of being human." Hmm, it's sadly back in fashion full force.
The very first habit is "Switch on Your Empathic Brain." That first step might be the most challenging. Krznaric lays out examples in which those with more, say, conservative and/or fundamental backgrounds have a very difficult time with empathy. This is for many reasons. One is that ignorance and a lack of empathy are close bedfellows. Another is that these people often do as they are told, without thinking about it. Also, this relationship can be categorized as an "I-It" relationship, when one person sees the other as an "it," whether the "it" is an employee, a friend, a citizen of the U.S., or its president. Other blocks to empathy include "prejudice, authority, distance, and denial."
Developing empathy is a challenge for the number of us who grew up without it. Krznaric shows case studies of children who grow up without affection or secure emotional attachments. These studies are a nice complement to Kristin Dombek's The Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the Fear of Narcissism. Krznaric brings up the Millgram experiments, as Dombek does, and some other monkeyshines, like an experiment that reminded me of an old GSN game show "Friend of Foe." Lack of secure attachment promotes narcissism and diminishes empathy. These two books can go hand in hand to help us repair ourselves.
Krznaric also shows some pitfalls on the way to empathy, a few of these I have stepped in myself. The ones I related to mostly involve the Golden Rule. While it is critical to empathize with "the Other," it is equally critical to realize that "they" are "other." Other people do not necessarily think as we do. We should not do unto others are we want to be treated; we do unto others as THEY wish to be treated.
A lot of it boils down to having open conversations with others. Allowing others to be vulnerable, and being vulnerable ourselves. Krznaric brings up the issue of the "vulnerability hangover" when we "overshare" and might later regret it. He challenges us to push ourselves into that territory, without being the type of person who bulldozes into every conversations and it makes it all about him- or herself.
As the book continues, the habits get a little esoteric and extreme for me. I also don't like Krznaric's taste in movies and his video game references are out of date. And some of his language can be a little too flowery for me. It's a turn-off, and where the book veers into the Golden Rule territory. This may be how Krznaric thinks, but it isn't how I (and maybe I'm being presumptuous) or others of his readers may think. I can picture many people reading lines like "Empathy Escapes--Unpack Your Personal Baggage" and rolling their eyes, but maybe I'm being cynical.
Krznaric lays out empathetic habits from relatively easy to more extreme ideals, such as those employed by Gandhi. We can't all be Gandhi. Krznaric also states that "empathizing does not destroy the possibility for moral judgment." You can empathize with someone, and still disagree with that person. The added concept of empathy can make it easier to engage someone you disagree with and to speak up. And while empathy might be seen as inherently peaceful, Krznaric does not pass judgment on those who use more active means, like protests, to achieve their goals. These protests can raise awareness and maybe convince others to empathize with them.
While not as personally affecting to me as Dombek's book on selfishness, this book is, as I said, a wonderful complement to it. I think both books are required reading, although this one has a lot of content that is more YMMV.
Published in 2014, the book is even more relevant today in an America with a leader devoid of empathy. In 1651, philosopher Thomas Hobbes argued that "inherently self-seeking and violent creatures such as ourselves needed an authoritarian government to keep us in check." That was over 350 years ago, and while we may no longer all be self-seeking and violent, enough of us are to elect the same. It's important to fight those impulses, because human society would not be what it is without co-operation. We all walk a road paved by someone else every single day of our lives. As Krznaric lays out in his prologue, "'Looking after number one' is becoming an outdate aspiration as we begin to realize that empathy is at the core of being human." Hmm, it's sadly back in fashion full force.
The very first habit is "Switch on Your Empathic Brain." That first step might be the most challenging. Krznaric lays out examples in which those with more, say, conservative and/or fundamental backgrounds have a very difficult time with empathy. This is for many reasons. One is that ignorance and a lack of empathy are close bedfellows. Another is that these people often do as they are told, without thinking about it. Also, this relationship can be categorized as an "I-It" relationship, when one person sees the other as an "it," whether the "it" is an employee, a friend, a citizen of the U.S., or its president. Other blocks to empathy include "prejudice, authority, distance, and denial."
Developing empathy is a challenge for the number of us who grew up without it. Krznaric shows case studies of children who grow up without affection or secure emotional attachments. These studies are a nice complement to Kristin Dombek's The Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the Fear of Narcissism. Krznaric brings up the Millgram experiments, as Dombek does, and some other monkeyshines, like an experiment that reminded me of an old GSN game show "Friend of Foe." Lack of secure attachment promotes narcissism and diminishes empathy. These two books can go hand in hand to help us repair ourselves.
Krznaric also shows some pitfalls on the way to empathy, a few of these I have stepped in myself. The ones I related to mostly involve the Golden Rule. While it is critical to empathize with "the Other," it is equally critical to realize that "they" are "other." Other people do not necessarily think as we do. We should not do unto others are we want to be treated; we do unto others as THEY wish to be treated.
A lot of it boils down to having open conversations with others. Allowing others to be vulnerable, and being vulnerable ourselves. Krznaric brings up the issue of the "vulnerability hangover" when we "overshare" and might later regret it. He challenges us to push ourselves into that territory, without being the type of person who bulldozes into every conversations and it makes it all about him- or herself.
As the book continues, the habits get a little esoteric and extreme for me. I also don't like Krznaric's taste in movies and his video game references are out of date. And some of his language can be a little too flowery for me. It's a turn-off, and where the book veers into the Golden Rule territory. This may be how Krznaric thinks, but it isn't how I (and maybe I'm being presumptuous) or others of his readers may think. I can picture many people reading lines like "Empathy Escapes--Unpack Your Personal Baggage" and rolling their eyes, but maybe I'm being cynical.
Krznaric lays out empathetic habits from relatively easy to more extreme ideals, such as those employed by Gandhi. We can't all be Gandhi. Krznaric also states that "empathizing does not destroy the possibility for moral judgment." You can empathize with someone, and still disagree with that person. The added concept of empathy can make it easier to engage someone you disagree with and to speak up. And while empathy might be seen as inherently peaceful, Krznaric does not pass judgment on those who use more active means, like protests, to achieve their goals. These protests can raise awareness and maybe convince others to empathize with them.
While not as personally affecting to me as Dombek's book on selfishness, this book is, as I said, a wonderful complement to it. I think both books are required reading, although this one has a lot of content that is more YMMV.
June 25, 2020
Will definitely re read this book again ❤️ and recommend it to everyone!
March 11, 2023
I don't even know where to begin with this book! It was so frustrating. The problem is that the people who need to read about empathy are never going to pick up this book and the people who do read it probably don't need to.
March 8, 2024
Wow. I read this book because it is becoming apparent to me that as I get older I am lacking in Empathy. Yes, I can be incredibly loving and supportive but I have lost the muscle of empathy. This book does such a nice job of not only laying out the incredible benefits of empathy not just for another person, but the benefits of yourself. Did you know other countries actually teach this in school with profound success. And with the state our current country is in, a little more empathy would go a long way. But since I can’t control others, I believe I will be a better husband, father and friend if I learn to actively use my muscle of practicing empathy.
January 28, 2023
Empathy is the new "in" thing in DEI circles. This book is great but does get a tad dry and technical. I used several quotes from this book in my presentation on empathy.
September 28, 2014
I received an ARC from a First Reads giveaway.
Empathy: Why It Matters and How to Get It is a thought provoking and life changing read for anyone. Krznaric defines empathy as: the art of imaginatively stepping into the shoes of another person, understanding their feelings and perspectives, and using that understanding to guide your actions. He goes on to identify six habits of empathic people which are covered in the six chapters of the book. First switching on our empathic brains to recognize empathy as part of human nature is key. Next, we make an imaginative leap into another person's shoes. Third, seeking out experiential adventures through interaction and immersion facilitates empathy. Next, practicing conversations by interacting with strangers and disclosing ourselves bolsters empathy. Fifth, travelling in your armchair through art, narratives and social media is another outlet. Finally, inspiring a revolution by using empathy to create social change rounds out the empathic habits.
Empathy is an inherently fascinating topic because we are social creatures and find people interesting. And it's an important skill not only for personal growth, but to improve any interpersonal relationships, interactions and communication. For the most part I agreed with Krznaric and praise him for writing about an important topic, but he seemed a bit idealistic for my tastes as far as using empathy for societal change. Nonetheless he does acknowledge there's a place for being self-interested as it's the prevalent view in today's society and it's important to add empathy to balance our lives. Regardless if one agrees or disagrees with Krznaric, he discusses a life changing subject true to human nature which we can incorporate into our own lives.
Empathy: Why It Matters and How to Get It is a thought provoking and life changing read for anyone. Krznaric defines empathy as: the art of imaginatively stepping into the shoes of another person, understanding their feelings and perspectives, and using that understanding to guide your actions. He goes on to identify six habits of empathic people which are covered in the six chapters of the book. First switching on our empathic brains to recognize empathy as part of human nature is key. Next, we make an imaginative leap into another person's shoes. Third, seeking out experiential adventures through interaction and immersion facilitates empathy. Next, practicing conversations by interacting with strangers and disclosing ourselves bolsters empathy. Fifth, travelling in your armchair through art, narratives and social media is another outlet. Finally, inspiring a revolution by using empathy to create social change rounds out the empathic habits.
Empathy is an inherently fascinating topic because we are social creatures and find people interesting. And it's an important skill not only for personal growth, but to improve any interpersonal relationships, interactions and communication. For the most part I agreed with Krznaric and praise him for writing about an important topic, but he seemed a bit idealistic for my tastes as far as using empathy for societal change. Nonetheless he does acknowledge there's a place for being self-interested as it's the prevalent view in today's society and it's important to add empathy to balance our lives. Regardless if one agrees or disagrees with Krznaric, he discusses a life changing subject true to human nature which we can incorporate into our own lives.
September 2, 2016
Empathy by Roman Krznaric is what I call ‘pop-philosophy’. Like the popular works of Bertrand Russell and Alain de Botton it’s easy to read, and it tackles the sort of every day philosophical issues that ordinary people think about it even if they don’t necessarily identify these preoccupations as philosophy.
But whereas Russell wrestles with big picture issues e.g. as in Authority and the Individual where he explored the importance of balancing freedom with a well-ordered society, de Botton and Krznaric are more in the ‘lifestyle philosophers’ camp. De Botton has written about everything from travel to status anxiety (and I’ve browsed his books but never really engaged with them) while others in this camp are Damon Young whose Philosophy in the Garden is a booklover’s delight: it explores the gardens of great authors and how these gardens provided a refuge for thought and creativity.
Krznaric is a prolific author too. According to his GoodReads profile he’s
a cultural thinker and founding faculty member of The School of Life. He advises organizations, including Oxfam and the United Nations, on using empathy and conversation to create social change, and has been named by The Observer as one of Britain’s leading lifestyle philosophers.
His latest title, Empathy is quick and easy to read, and I scampered through it in no time – his message is simple and unequivocal. Empathy is a good thing, and the world would be a better place if more people cultivated it.
To read the rest of my review please visit http://anzlitlovers.com/2014/03/26/em...
But whereas Russell wrestles with big picture issues e.g. as in Authority and the Individual where he explored the importance of balancing freedom with a well-ordered society, de Botton and Krznaric are more in the ‘lifestyle philosophers’ camp. De Botton has written about everything from travel to status anxiety (and I’ve browsed his books but never really engaged with them) while others in this camp are Damon Young whose Philosophy in the Garden is a booklover’s delight: it explores the gardens of great authors and how these gardens provided a refuge for thought and creativity.
Krznaric is a prolific author too. According to his GoodReads profile he’s
a cultural thinker and founding faculty member of The School of Life. He advises organizations, including Oxfam and the United Nations, on using empathy and conversation to create social change, and has been named by The Observer as one of Britain’s leading lifestyle philosophers.
His latest title, Empathy is quick and easy to read, and I scampered through it in no time – his message is simple and unequivocal. Empathy is a good thing, and the world would be a better place if more people cultivated it.
To read the rest of my review please visit http://anzlitlovers.com/2014/03/26/em...
November 2, 2018
Really interesting, lots of great examples and stories to help remember the 6 key points about how to be more empathic. Quite an easy read too, pleasant. lots of info but not too heavy to take it all in. Also clearly puts into words some thoughts, intuitions and doubts I had about empathy, particularly how it is often used as a 'technique' to improve communication and marketing but shouldn't really be seen as a technique. There's more but can't think right now, I think this will be one I will re-read and look over time and time again.
May 31, 2024
Um livro muito interessante que traz informações relevantes acerca da arte da empatia. Esquenta um pouquinho o nosso coração, com uma dose adequada de realismo esperançoso acerca de nossas potencialidades enquanto humanidade.
Roman Krznaric defende que a empatia é uma habilidade que podemos desenvolver ao longo de nossas vidas, e acredita que, por meio do seu desenvolvimento, nós seremos capazes de construir um mundo mais humano e mais solidário.
Achei muito legal pelo fato de que ele traz um embasamento teórico, baseado na filosofia, na biologia e na neurociência, para a crença de que os seres humanos não são apenas animais egoístas, mas também possuem uma capacidade de se colocar no lugar das outras pessoas.
O autor ainda propõe práticas que podem nos ajudar a trabalhar nossa empatia, além de trazer exemplos históricos de grandes figuras empáticas do nosso passado.
Recomendo bastante a leitura para quem quer trabalhar seu lado empático (sobretudo para pessoas que cuidam de outras pessoas), assim como para quem procura por um pouco de esperança em tempos tenebrosos.
Roman Krznaric defende que a empatia é uma habilidade que podemos desenvolver ao longo de nossas vidas, e acredita que, por meio do seu desenvolvimento, nós seremos capazes de construir um mundo mais humano e mais solidário.
Achei muito legal pelo fato de que ele traz um embasamento teórico, baseado na filosofia, na biologia e na neurociência, para a crença de que os seres humanos não são apenas animais egoístas, mas também possuem uma capacidade de se colocar no lugar das outras pessoas.
O autor ainda propõe práticas que podem nos ajudar a trabalhar nossa empatia, além de trazer exemplos históricos de grandes figuras empáticas do nosso passado.
Recomendo bastante a leitura para quem quer trabalhar seu lado empático (sobretudo para pessoas que cuidam de outras pessoas), assim como para quem procura por um pouco de esperança em tempos tenebrosos.
February 11, 2025
This is a helpful book with some great ideas about how to become more empathetic and why it's important to learn from another person's perspective and experience. Here are some quotes I liked:
"Empathy can create... a revolution of human relationships (p. ix)."
"Empathy is the art of stepping imaginatively into the shoes of another person, understanding their feelings and perspectives, and using that understanding to guide your actions (p. x)."
"'Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you--they might have different tastes.' Empathy is about discovering those different tastes (p. x)."
"Making the effort to look through other people's eyes can be personally challenging--and sometimes deeply exhilarating--but it also has extraordinary potential as a force for social change (p. xii)."
"'Looking after number one' is becoming an outdated aspiration as we begin to realize that empathy is at the core of being human (p. xiv)."
"How can we expand our empathic potential (p. xiv)?"
"The six habits of highly empathic people...
1. Switch on your empathic brain...
2. Make the imaginative leap...
3. Seek experiential adventures...
4. Practice the craft of conversation...
5. Travel in your armchair...
6. Inspire a revolution (p. xv)"
"Your understanding of what makes people tick will expand beyond measure and, like many highly empathic people, you may begin to find others more interesting than yourself (p. xvi)."
"There is an urgent need to harness the power of empathy to tackle these crises [political and ethnic violence, religious intolerance, poverty and hunger, human rights abuses, global warming] and bridge social divides. This requires thinking about empathy not just as a relationship between individuals... but as a collective force that can shift the contours of the social and political landscape (p. xix)."
"'If you care more about other people relative to yourself, you are more likely to be happy.'... It has the power to heal broken relationships (p. xx)."
"'I think empathy is an ever-evolving way of living as fully as possible, because it's pushing your envelope and pushing you into new experiences that you might not expect or appreciate until you're given the opportunity' (p. xxi)."
"'Imagining what it is like to be someone other than yourself is at the core of our humanity. It is the essence of compassion, and it is the beginning of morality' (p. xxi)."
"Our well-being depends on us stepping out of our own egos and into the lives of others, both people close to us and distant strangers (p. xxii)."
"'The therapist in American life has become a substitute friend for unhappy people' (p. xxiv)."
"'Obsession with the self has been the characteristic psychological error of the generations of the seventies and eighties' (p. xxv)."
"We might need more of an outward turn (p. xxv)."
"If enough of us become empathic travelers, we may well find that we transform the world we live in (p. xxx)."
"Developing our empathic abilities requires grasping this reality about who we are (p. 2)."
"Compassion means 'to suffer with another' (p. 11)."
"'Effective cooperation requires being exquisitely in tune with the emotional states and goals of others' (p. 19)."
"Our task is to create the kind of world that enables, rather than hinders, the flourishing of our empathic selves (p. 20)."
"'The question that fascinates me is how we understand others' (p. 22)."
"Empathic ability is a bit more musical ability--part nature and part nurture (p. 27)."
"Teaching empathy skills is not just a 'nice to have' added extra, but deserves to be at the core of the curriculum alongside reading, writing, and arithmetic... Empathy is integral to solving conflict in the family, schoolyard, boardroom and war room (p. 31)."
"As individuals, we believe that our well-being hinges on satisfying our personal ambitions and lifestyle desires far more than on dedication to social causes and community projects (p. 32)."
"Think to yourself how often you have been plain wrong about someone because you were looking at them through the distorting lens of prejudice and stereotype (p. 36)."
"Aside from prejudice, one of the greatest obstacles to empathy is the human tendency to obey authority (p. 38)."
"Spatial distance remains a barrier to the spread of empathy (P. 42)."
"When distance shields us from the consequences of our actions, we seem capable of almost anything: the pilot who dropped the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima in August 1945 never saw the faces of the 140,000 victims, and later said that the performed his task without any feelings of guilt or remorse (p. 43)."
"Those at the periphery have less claim on our compassion (p. 43)."
"Distance is not merely a spatial phenomenon: social distance is just as much a barrier to empathic connection (p. 43)."
"Schindler's story tells us that the act of empathizing begins with looking someone in the eye, giving him a name, and recognizing his individuality. It is about acknowledging his humanity in defiance of prejudices and stereotypes; it is about refusing to obey authorities who command us to denigrate him. The power of teaching an individual with humanity is that it can be a stepping stone to empathizing with a wider circle of people (p. 49)."
"'When you get up in the morning, remember those who planted, picked and spun the cotton on your sheets and who collected, treated and exported the beans you grind for your morning coffee... As you set off to work, reflect on the thousands of workers and engineers who maintain the roads, cars, railways, planes, trains, and underground transport on which you rely. Continue this exercise throughout this day.'... 'Appreciate how dependent you are on other people you have never met and who may live far away' (p. 52)."
"What assumptions do you think people make about the kind of person you are? How accurate are they? Think of three instances when you were mistaken in your assumptions and judgments about others. What were the consequences of your error, and why did it matter? How often do you make assumptions, and about which kinds of people (p. 53)?"
"Our own suffering is one of the most effective conduits into the lives of other people (p. 55)."
"We cannot assume that others will share our moral codes, our tastes, our interpretations of the world (p. 59)."
"Experiential learning may be the most demanding approach to empathizing--more confronting than having a conversation or watching a film--yet has the potential to yield the greatest rewards... immersion... exploration... cooperation (p. 69)."
"If you are used to a middle-class lifestyle, you could try living off the minimum wage... Try a 'job swap' with a friend whose work is very different from yours (p. 78)."
"'The only way to learn is by encounters' (p. 80)."
"He realized that he needed to build trust with the government, and work with them rather than against them. He had also developed a deeply humane, empathic attitude toward his former adversaries, which guided his actions in the years following his release (p. 85)."
"I would love to see an Empathy Travel Agency on every Main Street and in every shopping mall... You begin by spending an hour talking to one of the friendly attendants about your approach to life... they assess your empathic needs and desires, and offer you a tailor-made experiential package. Your travel adventures could be right on your doorstep... work for a week in the kitchen of a local Moroccan restaurant, or... volunteer in a refugee and immigrant support center... Empathy Escapes--Unpack Your Personal Baggage (p. 88)."
"Be wary of projects and organizations that fortify boundaries between communities (p. 94)."
"Learning to empathize is like learning a language (p. 96)."
"Conversation is one of the essential ways in which we come to understand the inner emotional life and ideas of others (p. 97)."
"Conversation and empathy are intimately intertwined: making the effort to comprehend another person's perspective can help bring an otherwise unremarkable dialogue to life (p. 98)."
"Newton and Alexander von Humboldt were possessed of a healthy curiosity, an inquisitiveness that enabled them to see beyond conventional ideas and make extraordinary discoveries (p. 99)."
"Curiosity can help us discover who they are and how they see the world (p. 100)."
"'No one has ever listened to them before in all their lives (p. 103)."
"Have you ever been to a Human Library?... Instead of borrowing a book, you can borrow a person for conversation (p. 104)."
"The Oxford use meals are the opposite of speed dating--you talk to someone for one hour, not one minute... The Conversation Menu idea has now spread to other organizations... There is nothing to stop you developing your own menu of questions to try with friends about the dinner table, acquaintances from the office, new neighbors, or other strangers you happen to meet (p. 106)."
"How have your ambitions affected your humanity? Do you feel more at home in the past, the present, or the future? Are you better at laughing or forgetting? What is your personal history of self-confidence and what has it taught you (p. 107)?"
"'The capacity to give one's attention to a sufferer is a very rare and difficult thing; it is almost a miracle; it is a miracle' (p. 108)."
"We live in a culture where making yourself vulnerable--exposing your uncertainties, taking emotional risks--is considered a failing, and something that most of us would rather avoid (p. 115)."
"'When vulnerability is not tolerated in the workplace, we can forget about innovation, creativity, and engagement (p. 117)."
"We need to conceive of organizations not as machines, but as networks of human relationships (p. 118)."
"If our conversations are led by concern for others, then our empathizing will bear the mark of integrity (p. 124)."
"Set up your own empathy film club (p. 139)."
"In the past, an international development charity might show a harrowing photo of a starving child standing forlorn in a parched landscape.... While these kinds of photographs remain common, we are increasingly likely to see images that portray the subjects with dignity and a sense of empowerment (p. 143)."
"Photography also works because it feeds our visual intelligence. We learn not just through reading words or analyzing statistics, but by having images branded onto our minds and memories (p. 145)."
"Come to 'concern ourselves with the good of other people whose lives are distant from our own' (p. 147)."
"Empathy is at the heart of storytelling itself (p. 150)."
"One day I hope all public libraries will offer a professional bibliotherapy service to help us choose wisely among hundreds of thousands of books that are published each year... You can post lists of your favorite empathy novels on the world's first digital Empathy Library... www.romankrznaric.com/empathyrevolution (p. 151)."
"How can a man every experience what it feels like to be pregnant?... We will always need armchair empathy--to help us imagine all those hidden worlds that lie out of reach in our everyday lives (p. 162)."
"Empathy can be as much a collective phenomenon as an individual one (p. 163)."
"Empathy is a vital--although neglected--force for historical change (p. 169)."
"Empathy is at its most powerful when it is embedded as part of a community ethos (p. 175)."
"'We must be prepared to listen to 'the other.' Because if we will not listen to the other's story we won't be able to understand the source of other pain and we should not expect the other to understand our own (p. 183)."
"We need to generate more empathy across space... through time (p. 184)."
"Each of us now has an opportunity to join with others and contribute to an historic third wave of empathy that leaves an indelible mark of humanity on the world (p. 194)."
"The first way to spread the empathy revolution is through conversation (p. 196)."
"An Empathy Museum would be a mind-melding playground rivaling the finest galleries and tourist attractions that a city has to offer... It may start life as a series of 'pop-up' exhibits in different cities, along with an online gallery that can be visited from anywhere (p. 202)."
"Get talking to somebody whose world you would rarely get to enter in your daily life (p. 203)."
"Enter All the World's a Stage, where professional actors will guide you in dramatic role playing, improvisations, and other acting exercises to help you discover the secrets of stepping into the life of another person (p. 203)."
"Come through the door of the Dressing-Up Box room and you will see racks of clothes you can dress up in to experience lives you have never lived (p. 204)."
"Empathy can create... a revolution of human relationships (p. ix)."
"Empathy is the art of stepping imaginatively into the shoes of another person, understanding their feelings and perspectives, and using that understanding to guide your actions (p. x)."
"'Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you--they might have different tastes.' Empathy is about discovering those different tastes (p. x)."
"Making the effort to look through other people's eyes can be personally challenging--and sometimes deeply exhilarating--but it also has extraordinary potential as a force for social change (p. xii)."
"'Looking after number one' is becoming an outdated aspiration as we begin to realize that empathy is at the core of being human (p. xiv)."
"How can we expand our empathic potential (p. xiv)?"
"The six habits of highly empathic people...
1. Switch on your empathic brain...
2. Make the imaginative leap...
3. Seek experiential adventures...
4. Practice the craft of conversation...
5. Travel in your armchair...
6. Inspire a revolution (p. xv)"
"Your understanding of what makes people tick will expand beyond measure and, like many highly empathic people, you may begin to find others more interesting than yourself (p. xvi)."
"There is an urgent need to harness the power of empathy to tackle these crises [political and ethnic violence, religious intolerance, poverty and hunger, human rights abuses, global warming] and bridge social divides. This requires thinking about empathy not just as a relationship between individuals... but as a collective force that can shift the contours of the social and political landscape (p. xix)."
"'If you care more about other people relative to yourself, you are more likely to be happy.'... It has the power to heal broken relationships (p. xx)."
"'I think empathy is an ever-evolving way of living as fully as possible, because it's pushing your envelope and pushing you into new experiences that you might not expect or appreciate until you're given the opportunity' (p. xxi)."
"'Imagining what it is like to be someone other than yourself is at the core of our humanity. It is the essence of compassion, and it is the beginning of morality' (p. xxi)."
"Our well-being depends on us stepping out of our own egos and into the lives of others, both people close to us and distant strangers (p. xxii)."
"'The therapist in American life has become a substitute friend for unhappy people' (p. xxiv)."
"'Obsession with the self has been the characteristic psychological error of the generations of the seventies and eighties' (p. xxv)."
"We might need more of an outward turn (p. xxv)."
"If enough of us become empathic travelers, we may well find that we transform the world we live in (p. xxx)."
"Developing our empathic abilities requires grasping this reality about who we are (p. 2)."
"Compassion means 'to suffer with another' (p. 11)."
"'Effective cooperation requires being exquisitely in tune with the emotional states and goals of others' (p. 19)."
"Our task is to create the kind of world that enables, rather than hinders, the flourishing of our empathic selves (p. 20)."
"'The question that fascinates me is how we understand others' (p. 22)."
"Empathic ability is a bit more musical ability--part nature and part nurture (p. 27)."
"Teaching empathy skills is not just a 'nice to have' added extra, but deserves to be at the core of the curriculum alongside reading, writing, and arithmetic... Empathy is integral to solving conflict in the family, schoolyard, boardroom and war room (p. 31)."
"As individuals, we believe that our well-being hinges on satisfying our personal ambitions and lifestyle desires far more than on dedication to social causes and community projects (p. 32)."
"Think to yourself how often you have been plain wrong about someone because you were looking at them through the distorting lens of prejudice and stereotype (p. 36)."
"Aside from prejudice, one of the greatest obstacles to empathy is the human tendency to obey authority (p. 38)."
"Spatial distance remains a barrier to the spread of empathy (P. 42)."
"When distance shields us from the consequences of our actions, we seem capable of almost anything: the pilot who dropped the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima in August 1945 never saw the faces of the 140,000 victims, and later said that the performed his task without any feelings of guilt or remorse (p. 43)."
"Those at the periphery have less claim on our compassion (p. 43)."
"Distance is not merely a spatial phenomenon: social distance is just as much a barrier to empathic connection (p. 43)."
"Schindler's story tells us that the act of empathizing begins with looking someone in the eye, giving him a name, and recognizing his individuality. It is about acknowledging his humanity in defiance of prejudices and stereotypes; it is about refusing to obey authorities who command us to denigrate him. The power of teaching an individual with humanity is that it can be a stepping stone to empathizing with a wider circle of people (p. 49)."
"'When you get up in the morning, remember those who planted, picked and spun the cotton on your sheets and who collected, treated and exported the beans you grind for your morning coffee... As you set off to work, reflect on the thousands of workers and engineers who maintain the roads, cars, railways, planes, trains, and underground transport on which you rely. Continue this exercise throughout this day.'... 'Appreciate how dependent you are on other people you have never met and who may live far away' (p. 52)."
"What assumptions do you think people make about the kind of person you are? How accurate are they? Think of three instances when you were mistaken in your assumptions and judgments about others. What were the consequences of your error, and why did it matter? How often do you make assumptions, and about which kinds of people (p. 53)?"
"Our own suffering is one of the most effective conduits into the lives of other people (p. 55)."
"We cannot assume that others will share our moral codes, our tastes, our interpretations of the world (p. 59)."
"Experiential learning may be the most demanding approach to empathizing--more confronting than having a conversation or watching a film--yet has the potential to yield the greatest rewards... immersion... exploration... cooperation (p. 69)."
"If you are used to a middle-class lifestyle, you could try living off the minimum wage... Try a 'job swap' with a friend whose work is very different from yours (p. 78)."
"'The only way to learn is by encounters' (p. 80)."
"He realized that he needed to build trust with the government, and work with them rather than against them. He had also developed a deeply humane, empathic attitude toward his former adversaries, which guided his actions in the years following his release (p. 85)."
"I would love to see an Empathy Travel Agency on every Main Street and in every shopping mall... You begin by spending an hour talking to one of the friendly attendants about your approach to life... they assess your empathic needs and desires, and offer you a tailor-made experiential package. Your travel adventures could be right on your doorstep... work for a week in the kitchen of a local Moroccan restaurant, or... volunteer in a refugee and immigrant support center... Empathy Escapes--Unpack Your Personal Baggage (p. 88)."
"Be wary of projects and organizations that fortify boundaries between communities (p. 94)."
"Learning to empathize is like learning a language (p. 96)."
"Conversation is one of the essential ways in which we come to understand the inner emotional life and ideas of others (p. 97)."
"Conversation and empathy are intimately intertwined: making the effort to comprehend another person's perspective can help bring an otherwise unremarkable dialogue to life (p. 98)."
"Newton and Alexander von Humboldt were possessed of a healthy curiosity, an inquisitiveness that enabled them to see beyond conventional ideas and make extraordinary discoveries (p. 99)."
"Curiosity can help us discover who they are and how they see the world (p. 100)."
"'No one has ever listened to them before in all their lives (p. 103)."
"Have you ever been to a Human Library?... Instead of borrowing a book, you can borrow a person for conversation (p. 104)."
"The Oxford use meals are the opposite of speed dating--you talk to someone for one hour, not one minute... The Conversation Menu idea has now spread to other organizations... There is nothing to stop you developing your own menu of questions to try with friends about the dinner table, acquaintances from the office, new neighbors, or other strangers you happen to meet (p. 106)."
"How have your ambitions affected your humanity? Do you feel more at home in the past, the present, or the future? Are you better at laughing or forgetting? What is your personal history of self-confidence and what has it taught you (p. 107)?"
"'The capacity to give one's attention to a sufferer is a very rare and difficult thing; it is almost a miracle; it is a miracle' (p. 108)."
"We live in a culture where making yourself vulnerable--exposing your uncertainties, taking emotional risks--is considered a failing, and something that most of us would rather avoid (p. 115)."
"'When vulnerability is not tolerated in the workplace, we can forget about innovation, creativity, and engagement (p. 117)."
"We need to conceive of organizations not as machines, but as networks of human relationships (p. 118)."
"If our conversations are led by concern for others, then our empathizing will bear the mark of integrity (p. 124)."
"Set up your own empathy film club (p. 139)."
"In the past, an international development charity might show a harrowing photo of a starving child standing forlorn in a parched landscape.... While these kinds of photographs remain common, we are increasingly likely to see images that portray the subjects with dignity and a sense of empowerment (p. 143)."
"Photography also works because it feeds our visual intelligence. We learn not just through reading words or analyzing statistics, but by having images branded onto our minds and memories (p. 145)."
"Come to 'concern ourselves with the good of other people whose lives are distant from our own' (p. 147)."
"Empathy is at the heart of storytelling itself (p. 150)."
"One day I hope all public libraries will offer a professional bibliotherapy service to help us choose wisely among hundreds of thousands of books that are published each year... You can post lists of your favorite empathy novels on the world's first digital Empathy Library... www.romankrznaric.com/empathyrevolution (p. 151)."
"How can a man every experience what it feels like to be pregnant?... We will always need armchair empathy--to help us imagine all those hidden worlds that lie out of reach in our everyday lives (p. 162)."
"Empathy can be as much a collective phenomenon as an individual one (p. 163)."
"Empathy is a vital--although neglected--force for historical change (p. 169)."
"Empathy is at its most powerful when it is embedded as part of a community ethos (p. 175)."
"'We must be prepared to listen to 'the other.' Because if we will not listen to the other's story we won't be able to understand the source of other pain and we should not expect the other to understand our own (p. 183)."
"We need to generate more empathy across space... through time (p. 184)."
"Each of us now has an opportunity to join with others and contribute to an historic third wave of empathy that leaves an indelible mark of humanity on the world (p. 194)."
"The first way to spread the empathy revolution is through conversation (p. 196)."
"An Empathy Museum would be a mind-melding playground rivaling the finest galleries and tourist attractions that a city has to offer... It may start life as a series of 'pop-up' exhibits in different cities, along with an online gallery that can be visited from anywhere (p. 202)."
"Get talking to somebody whose world you would rarely get to enter in your daily life (p. 203)."
"Enter All the World's a Stage, where professional actors will guide you in dramatic role playing, improvisations, and other acting exercises to help you discover the secrets of stepping into the life of another person (p. 203)."
"Come through the door of the Dressing-Up Box room and you will see racks of clothes you can dress up in to experience lives you have never lived (p. 204)."
November 12, 2020
What a brilliant launching pad for anyone even vaguely intrigued by the concept of Empathy and how it can be fostered to change the world.
May 10, 2016
This book is approachable yet thorough on the topic of empathy. The focus is on how to switch on your brain for empathy with activities like making the imaginative leap, seeking experiential journeys, and practicing the craft of conversation.
Breaking things down into two kinds of empathy: 1) affective, where you feel the same emotions as others and 2) cognitive, where you're able to put yourself in their shoes.
Platinum rule: "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them." Don't assume that what you wish for is what others also want. Expanding on "Know thyself" from Socrates, this book adds an empathic component to it, "Seek to understand who you are not by looking inside but by looking at the world" (quoting Goethe here).
Why do we need empathy? Because you can't "do unto them" without knowing about other people through active listening, caring about them, and respect.
Most people are able to expand their capacity for empathy by practicing mindful meditation toward other people's feelings and experiences. This is the most important part of the book's message, to me. Understanding that it's not a fixed personality trait; empathy can rise and fall depending on the situation, and we can train ourselves to get better at it.
Breaking things down into two kinds of empathy: 1) affective, where you feel the same emotions as others and 2) cognitive, where you're able to put yourself in their shoes.
Platinum rule: "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them." Don't assume that what you wish for is what others also want. Expanding on "Know thyself" from Socrates, this book adds an empathic component to it, "Seek to understand who you are not by looking inside but by looking at the world" (quoting Goethe here).
Why do we need empathy? Because you can't "do unto them" without knowing about other people through active listening, caring about them, and respect.
Most people are able to expand their capacity for empathy by practicing mindful meditation toward other people's feelings and experiences. This is the most important part of the book's message, to me. Understanding that it's not a fixed personality trait; empathy can rise and fall depending on the situation, and we can train ourselves to get better at it.
May 21, 2016
Será que vivemos um déficit de empatia? (Spoilers)
O autor propõe que vivemos uma crise de conversão na sociedade atual. Interagimos mais, porém superficialmente. Curiosidade, escuta radical, vulnerabilidade e preocupação genuína são alguns dos remédios que ele detalha para tratar isso.
O que mais me chamou atenção foram as quatro barreiras à empatia presente em nossas vidas: preconceito, autoridade, distância e negação.
Como desafiá-las? Pela humanização do outro (mudando a história que contamos a nós mesmos) através de imersão, exploração e cooperação.
Excelente livro para aumentar o repertório de hábitos que estimulam e desenvolvem a empatia.
O autor propõe que vivemos uma crise de conversão na sociedade atual. Interagimos mais, porém superficialmente. Curiosidade, escuta radical, vulnerabilidade e preocupação genuína são alguns dos remédios que ele detalha para tratar isso.
O que mais me chamou atenção foram as quatro barreiras à empatia presente em nossas vidas: preconceito, autoridade, distância e negação.
Como desafiá-las? Pela humanização do outro (mudando a história que contamos a nós mesmos) através de imersão, exploração e cooperação.
Excelente livro para aumentar o repertório de hábitos que estimulam e desenvolvem a empatia.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 10, 2016
This was an amazing read and is a heartfelt recommendation to everyone. With the help of psychology and neuroscience the author describes how human brains are in fact hard wired for empathy, it tells stories of people who devoted their life to empathic thinking and acting and how empathy can enhance life, of the individual, society and on this planet. The book offers to the reader 6 steps on how to switch on the empathic brain to make the imaginative leap into some elses shoes understanding life from their perspective and integrate empathy into our lives. The book is very readable, interesting and lively written and hopefully can spark more empathy in the daily life of humankind.
April 25, 2014
I loved this book as it delves into how the brain works whether women are more empathic than men in relation to responding to another persons feelings and emotions. Dissecting the empathic brand and goes indepth into the different kinds of research that have already been undertaken to understand the brain,. The book explores the concept of empathy realising empathic potential and empathic journeys you have to try the switching on your empathic brain.
August 13, 2018
I do not always find myself to be that empathic, so thought I would read up on it... I can't say that I am much better at it (yet) but I am more aware, and was definitely given some things to think about so I can be more empathic.
It is a bit of a hard read, certainly not a page turner (for me) - but I had a long airplane ride, so that helped me through it.
I like how he explains how some empathy has occurred and some areas of how we can apply it to ourselves. I will keep working on this.
It is a bit of a hard read, certainly not a page turner (for me) - but I had a long airplane ride, so that helped me through it.
I like how he explains how some empathy has occurred and some areas of how we can apply it to ourselves. I will keep working on this.
December 26, 2015
An astounding book. I expected the topic to be dry and laborious to read ... but it was not only readable, but extremely interesting and even life-changing. I think this book should be recommended reading for every women, man and child. We most definitely have an empathy deficit in our society.
January 4, 2022
I've noticed in my life that a lack of understanding for the other person's circumstances can lead to conflict and misery that is not ideal for both parties. I had a realisation about the significance of the idea of negative externalities; not only in the economical realm, where people in regions least responsible for climate change suffer its effects most due to the lack of understanding from fast-fashion customers, but also in the realm of personal relationships, where we sometimes idealise them because we do not realise the emotional devastation the other party has endured.
I appreciate that Krznaric has extended the strategies of developing empathy to both personally and collectively. The book contains useful insights for people interested in activism like me, pointing out that empathy is a good place to start if we want a successful movement, with specific examples. We have the responsibility to connect our peers to people with circumstances different from their own, or "the other", and enable them to see them eye-to-eye as individuals with unique characters. In the personal realm, from the point of reading this book, it is as if a guiding voice has turned on at the back of my head. Every time I become upset because I cannot accept another's viewpoint, the voice tells me to immerse myself in the circumstances of that person. Perhaps it is not outrageous to behave in that way if they were confined to such conditions. And would they appreciate what I am about to say or is it just the release of my own displeasure and urges?
I think this book is a decent starting point if you want to find out about the various facets of empathy. For me personally, I need to start with being empathic with the very people that surround me everyday, and extend that circle gradually. Therefore, I am going to continue my search for more specific titles and practices.
I appreciate that Krznaric has extended the strategies of developing empathy to both personally and collectively. The book contains useful insights for people interested in activism like me, pointing out that empathy is a good place to start if we want a successful movement, with specific examples. We have the responsibility to connect our peers to people with circumstances different from their own, or "the other", and enable them to see them eye-to-eye as individuals with unique characters. In the personal realm, from the point of reading this book, it is as if a guiding voice has turned on at the back of my head. Every time I become upset because I cannot accept another's viewpoint, the voice tells me to immerse myself in the circumstances of that person. Perhaps it is not outrageous to behave in that way if they were confined to such conditions. And would they appreciate what I am about to say or is it just the release of my own displeasure and urges?
I think this book is a decent starting point if you want to find out about the various facets of empathy. For me personally, I need to start with being empathic with the very people that surround me everyday, and extend that circle gradually. Therefore, I am going to continue my search for more specific titles and practices.
April 28, 2023
Roman Krznaric demonstrates how empathy makes you a better person. I enjoyed his historical accounts of people that challenged themselves to step into the shoes of others. When he mentioned Che Guevara as one of the examples of a person with great empathy, I begged to differ. Roman Krznaric retells Che's early life while on the road on his motorcycle with his friend talking to a dying woman and a homeless family. Krznaric seems to spotlight Che Guevara's early life and his show of empathy around that period, but seems to forget Che Guevara was less of an Empath in his later life and more, what I'd call, a royal fucking asshole. Che Guevara put homosexual men in concentration camps and forced them to work 60 hours a week and paid them nothing. Despite any of that Roman Krznaric seems very pro-Che. If Mr. Krznaric wants to take an imaginative leap into other peoples minds, I would challenge him to step into the minds of someone forced in a concentration camp being paid close to nothing and deemed a sexual pervert. If Cormac McCarthy ever needs a new idea for a novel with dystopian themes and existential dread then look no further Mr. McCarthy.
Roman Krznaric gives a lot of insight into what makes you more empathic as a person such as an interest in others and exploring what you and others have in common with each other and what you don't. Stepping into the shoes of someone else involves a simple shift in your thinking; instead of yourself being the center of attention, they become the center of attention. Reminds me of what I read in "How To Listen With Intention" by Patrick king; its better to be interested than interesting.
Roman Krznaric gives a lot of insight into what makes you more empathic as a person such as an interest in others and exploring what you and others have in common with each other and what you don't. Stepping into the shoes of someone else involves a simple shift in your thinking; instead of yourself being the center of attention, they become the center of attention. Reminds me of what I read in "How To Listen With Intention" by Patrick king; its better to be interested than interesting.
November 26, 2017
As a fervent reader and an empathy myself, Roman Krznaric weaves the tightest and most enlighting book on empathy I ever came across.
His approach is very simple, listing ways of how to tap into your empathic mindset which is supposedly wired in all of us since infancy. His writing style is straight and clean although a bit too optimistic and utopian.
I guess this mirrors his thought process; he believes it's an easy task to get connected on a global scale in an empathic capacity and make the world a better place. In some instances of the book, he clearly states how difficult a task this is but in most others, Roman just ignores it.
I have a few ticks with his view like for instance, to empathise with someone who doesn't have the same views as you do. For example, how can I empathise with someone who views infidelity as an okay thing to do!? Yes, I don't have to agree but I also don't have to empathise because strictly speaking it's despicable.
His approach to the whole matter - while evidence based and clearly well though of - is dominated by naivety and utopian fueled sentiments. I connected with the more realistic and authentic arguments he posed but found his overall approach to be a bit overplayed.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed this book tremendously given as how it speaks to my ability as an empath and my struggle to actually make this world a better, well connected and thoughtful place to live in.
His approach is very simple, listing ways of how to tap into your empathic mindset which is supposedly wired in all of us since infancy. His writing style is straight and clean although a bit too optimistic and utopian.
I guess this mirrors his thought process; he believes it's an easy task to get connected on a global scale in an empathic capacity and make the world a better place. In some instances of the book, he clearly states how difficult a task this is but in most others, Roman just ignores it.
I have a few ticks with his view like for instance, to empathise with someone who doesn't have the same views as you do. For example, how can I empathise with someone who views infidelity as an okay thing to do!? Yes, I don't have to agree but I also don't have to empathise because strictly speaking it's despicable.
His approach to the whole matter - while evidence based and clearly well though of - is dominated by naivety and utopian fueled sentiments. I connected with the more realistic and authentic arguments he posed but found his overall approach to be a bit overplayed.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed this book tremendously given as how it speaks to my ability as an empath and my struggle to actually make this world a better, well connected and thoughtful place to live in.
August 26, 2018
I first came across this book when I was researching an article I was writing on Increasing Empathy. Roman Krznaric came up with the idea of an Empathy Museum and the touring art exhibit A Mile in My Shoes - "a shoe shop where visitors are invited to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes - literally.". His book is the type of pop-philosophy which is right up my street and it's got some great insights. I particularly enjoyed the sections on conversation and the history of great emphatic movements such as WW2 evacuations. Another concept called the Vulnerability Hangover from Brené Brown struck a chord with me:
"If you really take that big step and make yourself vulnerable, then it is pretty likely that the next morning you’ll wake up thinking, ‘Oh my God! Why did I share that? What was I thinking?’ In fact, if you don’t feel any vulnerability hangover, then maybe you didn’t go far enough."
With the current replication crisis it's worth reading authors who cite various social psychology studies to back up their opinions with a dash of skepticism. Krznaric does mention the Stanford Prison Experiment which has recently been debunked.
"If you really take that big step and make yourself vulnerable, then it is pretty likely that the next morning you’ll wake up thinking, ‘Oh my God! Why did I share that? What was I thinking?’ In fact, if you don’t feel any vulnerability hangover, then maybe you didn’t go far enough."
With the current replication crisis it's worth reading authors who cite various social psychology studies to back up their opinions with a dash of skepticism. Krznaric does mention the Stanford Prison Experiment which has recently been debunked.
August 17, 2019
Krznaric is no mug. Starting with the discovery of the mirror neurone, which seems to explain how humans can be empathic, he provides a practical road map for exercising and developing one's empathic capacities. The book is easy to read, full of interesting examples, and well referenced and indexed.
I searched in vain for any reference to an explanation of just how our brain's empathic ability works--a psychology of empathy perhaps. It's surprising that Krznaric seems not to have heard of René Girard. As one reviewer here observes, mirror neurones perhaps work both selfishly and selflessly. Indeed, Girard's work explicates that.
However, the triumph of books like this one is that they help us to knock down the myth of Individualism that pervades so much of existence today. The alternative, that humans are social inter-dividual beings is becoming clearer. Whether we shall use our interdividuality for empathy, or resentment and scapegoating, depends on how well be begin to understand ourselves.
I searched in vain for any reference to an explanation of just how our brain's empathic ability works--a psychology of empathy perhaps. It's surprising that Krznaric seems not to have heard of René Girard. As one reviewer here observes, mirror neurones perhaps work both selfishly and selflessly. Indeed, Girard's work explicates that.
However, the triumph of books like this one is that they help us to knock down the myth of Individualism that pervades so much of existence today. The alternative, that humans are social inter-dividual beings is becoming clearer. Whether we shall use our interdividuality for empathy, or resentment and scapegoating, depends on how well be begin to understand ourselves.
April 11, 2019
I bought this book as the colourful cover states ‘Empathy, why it matters, and how to get it’ safe to say Krznaric did not deliver. Krznaric states there are 6 habits of highly empathic people which are essentially; think of things from others’ point of view through being curious about cultural experiences, literature and social media and inspire others to do the same. Very repetitive book where Krznaric cycles back to already discussed points as if trying to make the word count and superfluously uses Latin such as homo empathicus and homo self-centricus which results in a homo irritatus. Both of which just patronise the reader and demonstrate that Krznaric has no deeper knowledge of empathy or understanding about ‘how to get it’. All the presented research was heavily padded with explanation and was basic psychology that really told me nothing more about empathy than I would think most human beings can naturally intuit. Then again perhaps Krznaric is correct and I am highly empathetic in thinking these things are blindingly obvious as there was a time when people could not imagine why products needed to be designed to suit a particular audience, why it was not right to have child labour, etc. Then again I would argue that empathy changes with culture and we are more aware today of the struggles of others than we ever were and although Krznaric argues there is a more self-obsessed society, I doubt it is because we don’t have the capacity to feel empathy, it is more that we ignore this for our own benefit.
January 30, 2022
Recommended by a member of my post-graduate faculty as a contribution towards my thesis, this piece struck me as well-intentioned but over-simplified—particularly when the discussion veers into my subject areas of psychology and performance art. Often times, stances are taken after reviewing a restricted set of "literature", though the stances themselves are more deeply supported by the author's personal experiences.
I've no prejudice against anecdotal reflections on building any kind of inter-personal skill, but a great deal of this was presented with the air of an objective master-work, which I would argue it isn't. And, in the vein of Krznaric, that's absolutely fine—we all grow from consuming each other's perspectives—I was simply left with the bad taste left by a "how-to" guide which was, at its heart, deeply subjective and limited in scope.
I've no prejudice against anecdotal reflections on building any kind of inter-personal skill, but a great deal of this was presented with the air of an objective master-work, which I would argue it isn't. And, in the vein of Krznaric, that's absolutely fine—we all grow from consuming each other's perspectives—I was simply left with the bad taste left by a "how-to" guide which was, at its heart, deeply subjective and limited in scope.
January 8, 2023
While many believe that humans are naturally apathetic and self-centered, Roman Kznaric presents research which demonstrates that mankind is quite the opposite, that we are predisposed to show empathy for others. Empathy is a choice, a quality that can be cultivated. By developing a stronger sense of empathy our lives will become more settled, more fulfilling, and better. Kznaric shares the six habits of highly empathic people to motivate readers. Each chapter focuses on a specific habit and why it can help to increase our well being. For example, “Habit 5: Travel in your armchair” shares the power that photographs, videos, and books have to change our world view. The pros and cons of using media to increase our sense of empathy and to connect us with the experiences of others are shared along with how our media appetite influences our understanding of the world around us.
January 14, 2024
Thought-provoking, impactful read. I enjoyed this book. I skipped around--but that is the beauty of a research based book--you have the freedom to dabble in sections in a non-sequential order.
I am a fan of how the author differentiates empathy from "the golden rule" and "sympathy." Empathy guides our actions in light of our past experiences to help others. The key part of empathy that is unique from the other two terms that are commonly confused with empathy, is that central idea of an intent of genuinely helping others through pulling on our personal past experiences and emotions equated with those experiences.
I recommend this book to people who work in fields that relate to psychology. As a substitute teacher and nanny, I found this book helpful in guiding my daily actions at work.
I am a fan of how the author differentiates empathy from "the golden rule" and "sympathy." Empathy guides our actions in light of our past experiences to help others. The key part of empathy that is unique from the other two terms that are commonly confused with empathy, is that central idea of an intent of genuinely helping others through pulling on our personal past experiences and emotions equated with those experiences.
I recommend this book to people who work in fields that relate to psychology. As a substitute teacher and nanny, I found this book helpful in guiding my daily actions at work.
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